stories.

jerry jerry jerry!

isnt strength something more astounding than greatness. life without strength's like scenery without solace. it is holding on to such strength that gives us all hope sometimes. haha this was utterly randomly, but just a thought i harboured for a moment

my feet and legs are aching but argh i feel so alive. if only everyday could be like how everyday is now. where you can dance whenever you feel like it, not needing to care if theres work waiting. its feeling the joy of dancing after so long that makes dancing now even more enjoyable than it already is. to step into the studio you grew up in and see the barres and mirrors, and the wooden floorings, piano in a corner. and to surprisingly, realise you're actually feeling this happy from ballet again.


i hope i do well for the exams, and i hope ntu calls soon. just 2 things for now

okay i need a stomach pump as well i feel entirely unwell my stomachs the height junan's mouth its just so uncomfortable.

it was nice seeing worm today. goodfriend of 8 years.

its 5. and shihui will sleep. goodnight world(:

i just really wish for everyone to be happy. it seems difficult, yet achievable. it has to be achieved.

after finishing the drama yesterday, at 6am and being badly affected by it resulting in a slight case of insonmia, i finally fell asleep at an unknown time. i really set the alarm for 3pm so i could wake just in time to meet lydia at 4, but i only woke up at 4 anyway. so i was late to meet her and im so very sorry about it!

it felt good catching up. us talking. and those girls in uniforms which so reminds me of how we were like. though lydia claims we looked better. haha, i dont know. secondary school were the days where one's hair is just always messy, isnt it. they were so fun. even stress there was just an innocent strain.

lydia, as always, its really going to be okay.

not having a job beens going to sleep at whatever time you want to, waking up in the evenings. going anywhere you want to go, doing anything you want to do, every single day. ive actually never felt this free for awhile now. although there still ballet. people who choose to travel around the world penniless, is this what they see in such a lifestyle. this space and freedom in life. not any amount of pennies will give us that

i dont have time to think about so much now i guess. just to work hard and earn enough to support my studies in the future, and to help out at home. and then to venture out into what i always wanted to do.

to live life with such freedom is priceless.

woke up at some indecent time today due to the addiction im stil facing which results in me sleepin only in the morning after the sun comes up and me being able to hear the birds. this 2 signs indicate sleeping time. but sriously its so ridiculously unhealthy i shall scold myself and be real stern about.

okay.

job hunting has been tremendously hurtful and upon massive searching ive only been able to get a waitressing job on an adhoc basis at royal plaza, the hotel in which i once vowed i'll work in last year even before the bleedin As. i'll label myself a high class waistress. and i definitely will try and grab as much as i can after work. the main reason to why i was dying ( well not exactly) to work there, apart from the expensive looking ceilings and chands

so im currently looking at fairmont hotel as well. please call me soon.

im dying to go to london this june! and argh im still apprehensive about goin for asia pacific comp. i mean one of the greatest reason would be that we get to go to hongkong which WILL BE SO INSANELY FUN. but i really feel i should just focus on ballet exams for now. and the kids! THE KIDS yes. they're finaly improving did i mention that

like shanghai and nz was such fun seriously. this is so tempting

okay so mr oh has quit. why is everyone quitting their jobs. isnt the economy really bad or something. though i raelly feel that if i dont flip the papers i wont even realise it. oh the joy of not having to care abuot such events. for now. thats probably the keyword for this entire passage

so having tuition with yikai is always enlightening cause he so reminds me of peirce. because he is from peirce. he is so peirce. like how we are so peirce like there is just something in us thats so the same although we're different in our own ways. i so miss that place.

and having mr oh leave us is sad because he is the greatest yj has. i mean many in yj who knew me probably thoguht i was beyond insane. how i never seemed to care, and how i never seemed to ever be in class. or in school for that matter. how i never wanted to really talk to anyone. you know no one could understand, and it didnt bother me that no one could anyway. you just get fine with anything, even with how others might judge you. and it is so different. how people treated you when you're not the accepted kid, and how people treat you when you're the popular kid. i just wanted to get through those years with close friends and graduate

the thing about yj was people always seemed to be obsessed over the most stupid things. like whose pretty and who isnt, which guy is rich and which isnt, whether that guy was a secret mugger or not, whether that guy was a national floorball player anot. how people could never stop talking abuot other people. many just cuoldnt get their own life

why shuold we care. thats how it really was for me after i went into that school. but mr oh was the first, and the only one, who made sense to me. the only one who was able to reach out to me and understand me without me saying anything. most importantly, he believed me in a time when no one did. but yj isnt a good place to be in and i know that. so i guess im happy his leaving. but i really hope i get to see him somday again

anyway, im so lookin foward to london! WOOHOO. and tmr's outing with some crazy humanbeing. haha its been awhile

alrighty, i must go back to my korean boyfriend, goodnight world!







i miss you witch! youre about one month from grad

and when we checked the phone for time, all of a sudden it was 3.20 in the morning. and there was no cabs, infact, no cars on the streets, when just an hour ago we had about ten cabs stopping by to see if we needed one. how we hate it when such things happen.

so i finally met mr lee today for lunch and it was his treat! im so happy for him now that his finally really thinking about gettin married to that gf of his theyve been together since forever and his really such a great guy.

today was just so random. after i got home i immediately fainted on the front couch, yes the one right behind my main gate. and then i heard people screaming at me. my uncle and cousin turned up all of a sudden, and it felt so good seeing that cousin cause i haven seen him for 6 years due to certain events and i missed him so much. i really wish we could hang out like before again. i wish things could have been simpler for all of us, and we didnt have to bother what schools we were from, we didnt even have to care abuot anything else other than the friendship we had which was so important. and still is

then boys before flowers all the way till 11 im so in love and its all the weird people's fault for gettin me started. then i got jawei addicted as well. im so proud of myself okay take a deep breath and prepare to scream






precioussssssssssssss.

marry me!

okay next

so i met char for supper as usual. at some unearthly time. like 11.45. it was a thrill with the prata and barchormee. woohoo. who can ask for more seriously. then we were talking about ballet and about ballet competitions tihs year. and aobut the potential year end concert, which we might send out kids in for. well my kids are more young and fresh than hers, so thats really something to think abuot. a bunch of 3 year olds crying on stage isnt exactly what i'll call appealing and a success. but we'll see

so we were sittin at the busstop, and there was this insanely noisy paikia car which stopped by the bus stop, you know the kind with the which makes you go wtfluck, and there were people in there, like guys. so they decided to come out for abit and smoke by the road side. it was entirely random. it was so smelly, lucky charmaine was having a blocknose. but i wasnt so i was compltely suffocating. well not exactly but just felt like making it seem big

(:

so after 324324 minutes, they drove away. and another 23432 minutes later, this guy approached us

the reason why im bloggin abuot this is raelly because i felt the approach was strange
it really was, it got me thinking. it was like reading a long passage on dc circuits when you really dont even care about it, but have to do it, so you feel a strain in your head perpetually throughout the entire time

i kinda told the guy it was strange. like the approach was really strange. and the guy sorta agreed with me. and that made the whole thing even more strange. and it bothered me. how strange it was. i think its his way of asking. its bothering. its different when smoeone just approaches you, as compared to someone who approaches you and reiterates about the driving part. would it get you thinking. why will he think that. so does driving makes him sound smarter or something and hence attact girls? i dont understand. so he thinks just by one look he can decide im like that? why are guys always doing such things. i wanted to ask him but i couldnt get myself to do it.

okay, i shall go back to drama, where weird people dont exist.

loveya world. goodnight(:

okay so i was at facebook and was surprised that people were still doing '25 random things' where you're really supposed to say 25 random things about yourself. not 25 random interesting things, but just things. so you can really say things like i like soup, i like to eat dinner naked. if they wanted interesting things, they would probably have to only ask for one or two stuff really. then you'll just have to say something like for instance, i have a tail, to completely own it. that was really such a tough one though

but thats not what i wanna blog about today

so i want to visit the paternal's side grandparents grave today. i was really feeling faint and weak cause i so deserve it for sleeping at an unearthly 5am the night before. it was nice seeing them. though i never knew them, and never saw them, i know they're amazing people. almost makes me feel ashamed of what i am really but i'll get something done one day uh huh

so it turns out the relatives were pretty friendly this time round. somehow they just were. really it seemed almost sincere. but definitely kept my head clear every second. just incase, you know, someone jumps out at you. turned out dad couldnt keep his mouth shut and blurted the case of the bleeding alevels results to the rest of them. i seriously dont understand. how i hate it when such things happen

do your parents kinda speak in a different language or dialect when they're hittin on issues they dont want you to know about. well mine does. all the time. so he was doing it in hakka and i really have absolutely no idea. but you know how you lift certain words from people's speech, and you replay it repeatedly in your head, then the penultimate of matching them to chinese words, finally reaching the stage of decifering the secret message. yeah that was the process which went on in my head as well.

shold never look at the person you're talking about.

fortunately, i kept the default expression on. the muscles on my cheeks were really straining, but i managed to pull through the 2 hours relatively smoothly with no sign of insincerity written on my face. somehow i felt pretty calm despite the many words which were continuously churning up in my head. i even controlled my eyes in such a way that i just looked like i was quietly and politely waiting for the adults to be ready. it was amazing but it sucked energy out of me. i went home and napped for 5 hours straight after

but dont get me wrong. i enjoyed seeing the rest of them to some extent, and really was happy i got to see my grandparents. they were very good people and i cant ask for anything more but to be like them someday

then i met valerie at night. wanrong was supposed to come but she was entirely stressed out. cheerup and pull through. we really have to make it this time biatch.

okay so it was exciting. we saw carisa and cat. that was pretty. and the table beside us were well friendly, right val? so anyway, val and i were at this table, and cat and cari were at another, but my, how eyes can communicate so well

when snowman walked in, it was just insane. we went mad at it. i dont think ive felt such excitment in a long time seriously.

val and me thruogh msg to cari: i dare you to say hi to him and make a convo with him for one min

cari: turns and points the middle finger at us

well that was really so sweet of her

cari: you do that and i buy you a drink

which was such a great deal, and i was really thinking if wr was there with us we would have gotten that free drink

i really wouldnt mind doing it, but i was in a more reserved mood today.

then these 2 really hot girls walked in they had spidery legs which were practically up to my chin. shite. immediately, cari shot a look across to us. and i shot the same look back. see what i mean. this is good conversation

then we sat and talked about the days in peirce. how we miss those days and all the silly things we did, and how everyone knew what aws happening in everyones life, and how there was somehow, always so much drama. it was such joy.

hokay meetin with worm, hz and lee next week. and cheap shoppin with valzx! and kwr hang in there we all loveeee you alittle :D study hard and after we can hangout and bali!

argh 5.40am

xoxo goodnight world!

i think at some point of our lives, yes the one we trifle with, the one we try to lead crazy yet sensibly, we get to that somehow.

it isnt a bad thing. we cant neccesarily classify things as good or bad that easily i guess, unless its a cut and dried topic like charmainetay is an irritating chipmunk, on second thought, that could be relatively immanent as well. such issues such as the one stated previously are muchly universally condemned. indeed, no we cant. we can never dub things that simply. because as much as we lke to think we are self made beings, in which i raelly wont go into depth on that, we really arent. there are a jeremiad of events wihch could lead to what i call the sweater effect. in which you only have to pull tug on one thread to undo what was iniatially perfect.

and then you could only wish for things to have turned out differently

so people say desirable actions and words will probably be able to really turn things around, regardless of how insidious the web of reality is, or how masochistic man really are. perhaps that holds some truth. webs of reality, how they suck you in and spit you out so quickly sometimes. it just makes you feel sick

like how in the adult world, they use girls for almost anything. most particularly a girl named sue. they use sue to get money out of each other, smoetimes over the smallest matter, or even over a speck of dust; really nothing. issues in which there is nothing inherently wrong about it. sue is raelly one who requires high maintence, so i guess people tink its cool to have her around. they use her everywhere these days. she must be really popular and i have to have her on facebook soon to up my social status

i'll really miss her when its gone. its kinda scary thinkin about it. i hope everything will turn out fine

tmr's gonne be dreadful, im absolutely dreading tmr. its gonna be incredibly intense, i need a script and plan. and to master a default facial expression before tmr comes. relatives from paternal side of the fam. where no one is anything below law school. below law school/ let me reprhase that. no wait i cant. but tel me first, which is raelly deemed more prestigeous causei raelly dont know; law, med or dentistry. the jaw drop action when they realise what ive gotten for the As, and the fact im pretty much teaching ballet on sats. its gonna be such a refreshing experience. okay default facial expression to be mastered first for upcomin event. im really kinda scared about it somehow. please just dont get affected by them

and ive no idea whether i shold go back.

those aside, my ballet girls are INSANELY INTELLIGENT they improved tremendously and im sooooo proud and happy.! :D brags x100 seriously people they are so skilled and graceful prancing around i shall kowtow to them

and i really feel way better about the email stuff! :D

okay shall skype jawei then turn in. btw andrew is so thin right now

goodnight world i love ya plentyzxz:D

Hands over my head
Thinking what else could go wrong
would have stayed in bed
How can the day be so long

PRESENTING THE SPECTACLES OF LOVE


we only live life once
and what we really want
is to find true love knocking on life's door
but when it comes on a piece of paper
a most unexpected, peculiar time
what do you do?

watch spectacles of love to find out. coming out in theatres around you soon.

so today i had interviews which went remarkably funny. one didnt want to believe i would wanna try waitressing, she was so apprehensive. do i look that meek and helplesss seriously and waitressing is really gonna be bearable. im kinda looking forward to this fresh experience ahead.

tmr's teachin again with the kids. im gonna come up with a decent lesson plan later on for them(: im loving them more each week realy. they're so adorablee. let me share some love







after hanging around with crazy human being for the longest time, i met up with wr, val and et. 17 again and ZAC EFRON IS SO CUTE i never thought he was until i watched the movie and argh im slmost smitten by him right now. the movie was a good one and it made us laugh pretty hard hahaha. elf language. wanrong's probably gona really try that out sometime too soon.









and last but definitely not least. aw



aw aw aw aw this feels so secondary school but AW and yes i saw the hottest guy on earth today! hahaha wins the cute uk guy we saw in sec 3 hands down girls.

alrighty, lesson plans, and then to bed. btw, i did up a quiz on facebook. do you love me? go do it and find out :D i am terribly disappointed with your results char

tmr's gonna be fun

goodnight world

and i try not to think
its not, its just the beginning.
world's a playground

so i had this really long night since i couldnt catch any sleep. i spent the whole night up webcamming with marg. seriously, marg has proof i was damn skinny back in sec 3. we took a picture with this pink dolphin tog (yes no kdding its real) in sentosa, and boy were we tiny then or w hat. while it was 5am over here, it was 2pm over there. so we went on till it was 9am over here, and i decided it was insane. i gotta go to bed. its so addictive talking to her and i love her soooo much :D in the end, had to only look lydia up at night cause of the sleepless night. we were supposed to do town in the morn ): sorry lyds!




so we were talking about the normal stuff, about life, and her life which really hasnt been too normal lately. to think of it, mine hasnt been as well. then we stumbled across the horoscope page. and we had this realy interesting read on capricorns. though its really not good to pass judgement on anyone, especially based on these. but we couldnt help it anyway:D

you know i was really feeling so horrid about the whole thing. just horrid. insecured, uncertain, questions to be answered which werent asked and werent answered. guesses. alot of guesses. and too strong an instinct to ignore. make that two. two instincts. i trust mine, and marg has the same feel towards it, so its a definite no i guess.

and she keeps me grounded. i really was having this feelin at the pit of my stomach, you know the kind of feeling you get when you know you're doing something you sholdnt be doing, or feeling something you shuoldnt be feeling. she really keeps me grounded. and at the end of the day, its really just a so what? we have plenty plenty(:

and its not true that im the smarter one out of the two of us. we're tumours and that makes us the same.

and to everyone whose really been talking to me about it. wanrong, valerie, lydia, fangxian, mark, yvonne. big big thankyou. i really feel way better about it now(: and i feel silly for ever feeling so inferior to people like them

but we all learn

so i practiced ballet today! yes i did! and spent hell lots of time talking to val and wr online. char is crazy. she had this 6 day week because theres no thurs this week for her, cause of reasons. i really dont wanna put that here its alittle weird. shes so weird. and look at this




i'll find a way to make it bigger, but click on it for a preview just for today. strange kid she is

today waas syf for dance. wonder how did yj do. but who cares about yj. i really wonder though, how did peirce do

hokay, outing with worm, then interview! then outing with et wr and val tmr. cant wait its been awhile.! woohoo 17 and zac efron! though im not a fan

but I AM A FAN OF WESTLIFE AND SO IS VAL :D

goodnight world!

i have a very special friend




and very special she was indeed